It has sure been quite awhile since I have written anything. Life since December 2015 has sure taken a huge turn. Children have come and gone, moves have been made, jobs have been changed, a marriage occurred, and even death has appeared in this crazy whirlwind of a year and a half.
New beginnings in life have always presented themselves with crossroads. Paths in which we can choose to go down that lead us in many different directions through life. Human nature has been to question which path we chose to go down and if it was the correct decision. With the many trials I have been faced with over the past year and a half, I have questioned almost every path I have chosen. Was the path that lead me to a child I will never forget the right path? Was the path that lead me to my current home the right path? Was the path that lead me to my current job the right path? After so much debate within myself, I have been lead to believe that there are no right or wrong paths. There are just life experiences gained in each and every passing day. Life experiences that help shape and define our values, beliefs, culture, and future decisions. When learning and growing in today's society, the paths that do not lead to instant self gratification are almost always questioned by ourselves. The paths that lead us to define our value and worth as a person take time to grow and reveal that gratification.
So much is the same with foster care. Each child placed in my home underwent some kind of trauma. The act of removing the child into a physically and emotionally safe environment did not lead to instant gratification. It took time for that child to heal, learn, bond, and grow in the home before seeing any type of progress. The same can be said about the life decisions made in my life over the past year and a half. Baby J has been adopted into a home and is thriving so very well with his new family. Many of my previous foster children are growing and thriving in their new homes or are back with their biological families and thriving. I have even seen many changes in my biological son, Caden, as he has grown into an almost 5 year old with many foster siblings coming and going. Life for him definitely has not been easy but he is maturing into such a loving and caring little boy.
Life has been very difficult and hard to balance since the adoption and passing of sweet baby Ezra. The path that lead to his adoption was a very difficult path to walk down. All of the ups and downs of adopting a special needs child piled with the difficulties of adopting a child from a Native American tribe weighed heavy on my heart and head for months and months. Once it became clear that sweet Ezra was becoming sicker with time, decisions needed to be made and adoption occurred. The joy of having adoption finalized clashed with the decision to take sweet Ezra off of life support and let him pass on peacefully and without pain. His little body fought hard and strong for 14 months and he was such a joy to many. The loss of a beautiful and loved child is beyond words. Picking up life after that loss is again, beyond words.
After much deliberation, my husband and I decided to reopen our home to other foster children again so that we help children down whichever path they choose for their life and support them in any way we can. Much love and hope to be back with another update soon. <3
